Day -60: 2 Months To Go – How Am I Doing?

Okay, so this is going to be an honest, open post about the state of the journey, how life in the UK is treating me and how I am feeling. For real. We are now exactly two months away from the start of our incredible adventure, so I feel like it was the right time to start some real talk.

No, it hasn’t all been easy and super fun so far. Yes, it has been a great experience and a growth process so far. And there have been some amazing moments.
Just because something isn’t easy or super fun, doesn’t mean it’s not worth it. Sometimes we need to push through, get used to a completely new world around us and keep our hearts and minds open to new, challenging experiences.

I have been in the UK for about three weeks now and there have been times where I felt lonely, isolated and a stranger to everything and everyone. And there have been times where I felt appreciated, included and like I belonged. Somehow.
There have been days full of sunshine and freedom and excitement. And then there have been days of endless storms, struggles and chaos. I learned more about the rural country life in the south of the UK, the rules, traffic, language, culture and social life. I love some of it, other parts are puzzling and frustrating. Things I thought were a certain way, turned out to be quite different. And a visit to my beloved London (which I call my second home, after I’ve lived there some years ago) made me realize that I will not find here what I am searching for.

As of the journey – I can’t wait to start! I have planned the route as far as Brecon Beacons National Park in Wales and it promises to be a great adventure! I tried to keep us off the busy roads as much as possible and in areas where I couldn’t find a good off-the-busy-roads-route, I decided to get a transport to safely bring us to the next, horse-friendly area.
That is because I’m concerned about the wellbeing of us. I don’t want any of us to suffer any unnecessary injuries that could’ve been prevented. I know that some minor incidents are most likely going to happen, but if I can rule out potential dangers beforehand, I’d rather do that. I’m adventurous, but I’m not foolish. Especially when the lives of others are in my hands.
I paused the planning of the route for the past two days – I simply had to take my mind off it for a bit as I spent hours behind the laptop staring at three or four different maps, trying to find paths or tracks that would lead us in the right direction. I developed headaches and every day started feeling the same, blurring into each other. I started counting the days until the journey even more than I already did. I wanted to leave! NOW! Somebody push “fast forward” already!
But then I realized that this was a plain waste of time and that I had started living only for and in the future. I had to change something. So I got my bum up, went outside, met people, traveled around a bit and simply gave my days life back again. And this did wonders.

I’m feeling fresh, ready to take on some more planning. I’m excited again about what’s to come, rather than concerned about what could happen. It gets hard sometimes, locking yourself up in order to get things done. And sometimes we need to allow ourselves to take breaks – breaks to breathe and live again. If we are not able to live in the moment, if we are rushing through tough times, how are we going to be able to enjoy what we’re looking forward to?

This post sounds a bit like I was not in a good mood – but I am! I am feeling great! But I promised you the truth and the truth is – it’s not only sunshine, rainbows, unicorns and butterflies… Aaaaand fairy dust!! How on earth could I forget fairy dust?!
No, the truth is that life has more shades than Christian Grey. And they’re all good for something and should be lived, tackled and appreciated the same way. Don’t try to find a “forward” or “rewind” button – and trust me, “pause” has been out of order since the big bang – press “play” and give it your all!

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